2001-05-07 - 7:37 p.m.
#56: No Need for Quick Cleanup Panic Time
Note to self: This moustache/beard thing isn't all it's cracked up to be. For one thing, it's not thick enough to make me look evil, just rather untidy. Like itchy, spiky whiskers these hairs are. I could probably use my chin as a deadly weapon now. I guess mom was right when she said Chinese people don't really grow good facial hair. Another thing, I have this overwhelming urge to wipe my mouth after having a bite and swallow of some messy dishes, and some not so messy dishes. I feel like food bits are getting caught in the hair around my oratory device. Yick. It's definitely coming off sometime this week. Not that it grew much, for which I'm actually rather glad. O.o
Okay.... My mother is coming by the end of this week, on Friday, along with (shock gasp horror) my grandma. Which means this house needs to be spick and span by the time she gets back. It's amazing how much time flies when you suddenly have a mound of house chores to do and little time left to do it in. *turns around. looks at mess* I am doomed. *snaps from the stress. starts leaping about and hooting like a hyperactive monkey. stops* Okay, enough of that. Let's see what needs to be done:
Vacuum the house: Which means EVERYWHERE this time, and not just the most visible places like I did last time. -_-;;;; Having no dust bunnies on the ground floor = good. Having them all leaping about inanimately upstairs instead = bad. Having man hairs all over the bathroom = ugly. Plus a possible violent death at the hands of my embarassed mother.
Mop the tiled floors: Sticky is icky, and thus is the kitchen tiled area. And the entrance tiles too. Maybe she wouldn't notice? Riiiiiiiight, and she didn't once cover the tiled areas with a laywr of soap and oil to try and "loosen it up". She gets rather bent out of shape over those floors.
Wash dishes: It's amazing how much devastation just one guy with an entire kitchen, a fridge and no cooking skills whatsoever can wreak. It's also equally amazing the number of dishes he goes through to prepare his hideously deformed creations. OILY dishes. Fried SPAM oily dishes. You may "ew" loudly now.
Hide Lego: Contrary to popular belief, the house (and doghouse. and SKY Digital satelite) that Zeb built still stands, complete and unharmed by my hands. How could my friends think so little of me that I would smash such a.... COLOURFUL structure? No, instead I'm going to hide it from my mother until the next AAC meeting where Zeb may return with a camera and take photographs of it. And then I'm going to tie her to a chair and force her to watch as I unleash my Lego Mech to wreak havoc upon it. Complete with Spring Propelled Firecrackers as ammunition. fufufufufufufufu....
Mow lawn: Well.... Maybe she LIKES the lawn to be thick and overgrown and reaching up halfway to ones knee? Then again, maybe not.
Take out the garbage: Smelly. Enough said.
Take a freaking bath and change your underwear: I've drastically reduced the amount of laundry I would have normally built up in 2 and a half weeks, but I don't think she's going to be too impressed by that. Especially in the underwear department. These clothes could use a wash, too. Phew.
Hide pornos again: Errrrr..... What's this doing here? Aha. Ahahaha. Ahahahahahahaha. Ahem. *surreptitiously pushes pile into the cupboard*
Think up of a way to explain away the two cheesecakes in the freezer: Nuts. The only evidence of the night last Friday, along with the large number of empty plastic soft drink bottles. O.o Well, I could probably EAT them all, but that would be glutonous, wouldn't it? Then again, I'm already rather "cuddly", so what am I so worried about? ^^;;;;
Gee, nopw that I look at it closely there really isn't that much I have to do, afterall.... I guess I can do it all pretty easily then! ^_^ Tomorrow. *flops over and sleeps* Nyup nyup nyup....
